The Great Realization

Throughout the past several weeks, I have found myself thinking – a lot. I have found myself wondering where the happiness had gone; how I had lost the fight; and where had my spunk gone again? I know that this is a rough time of year. It has been for two years – but it just seems like this year is a little worse for me…and all involved. I try to be there as much as possible, but find myself sad, disappointed, and even angry at times.

The Great Realization

After speaking with a good friend today, I realized something. I’ve put my life on hold. I’ve stopped doing some of the things that I love, and that just is not cool. Then I thought about something that I hadn’t thought about in two years – my bucket list: the great list of all of the things that I want to be able to enjoy and do in my lifetime. I’m quite sure that my bucket list isn’t anything near as spectacular as it should be – but I am a pretty simple woman. Simple things make me the happiest. Simple things like: taking the day to go for a drive to find an old-fashioned ice cream shop to be able to smell fresh waffle cones being made; spending the day down town Minneapolis with my camera in hand and picnic basket to sit on a bus stop bench to eat lunch and watch people go along on their days; or even just packing a blanket and finding that perfect spot to lay up and watch the sky roll by in all of its magnificence. This is part of my bucket list – my forgotten bucket list.

So, if my bucket list is so simple, why have I forgotten about it, you may ask? Let me tell you my theory.

The Theory: I have just gotten too gosh darn caught up in the negative parts of each day.

That is a sad realization. I should know better – I should know that someone somewhere is going through something much harder than I. Although life isn’t the same for me anymore (nor will it ever be), I am still pretty darn lucky – luckier than most. I need to remember this. So what am I going to do about this? I decided to embark on a Great Journey – The Great Happiness Journey. My goal, I think it’s a good one, is to find something happy, something positive about each day and pass this happiness on to someone else. I know that there have been several times that someone has said or done something that has had a tremendous impact on me. I want to give it a try. Even if it doesn’t change someone’s life, I think it will make my life just a little happier and a little less negative.

One of the things that I have also started to do to try and find some of the happiness that seems to be hiding is turning back to my faith and finding answers there. Today, I thought I would share this with you:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

I need to take charge of my own happiness. I need to ask for it, seek it, and find it…