It’s been a rough month; but a month that has taught me a lot about myself, and those I choose to surround myself with. I’ve always felt as though I was a good judge of character – it appears this may not be the absolute truth.
A few years ago, I had a revelation of sorts: there just weren’t very many people that I needed to have in my life. It was a hard, sad revelation. Here are these people that I spend the majority of my free time with, and it just didn’t matter that much to me anymore that I had to miss the weekly outing and found myself hitting the ignore button on their calls. My values, hopes, and priorities had all changed – quickly. I thought I had utilized all of these new values and priorities, but it appears some have slipped through the cracks.
I like to think I am a good friend, a good person. I like to think that I try to do as much for others as I can. The hardest thing in the world is not having that reciprocated when needed. A crack in the heart starts to form. My level of trust decreases. My walls start to go up. I start to depend more on myself. The tears come a little more frequently.
After going through this same sort of issues twice now in the past couple of years, it has really started to get me to think…what am I doing? I’m doing all of the same things I was two years ago. No wonder the same thing is happening. I need to make a change; a serious change.
I’ve decided what this change will be and it will be a hard one to make, but I think it will be the best for me in the long run. Now, I just have to have faith that things will work out, and that things will start to turn around, and I do. I do have this faith and I believe in myself.
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”
~Isaiah 40:31
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