Enthusiastic Pessimist

Today I seem to be feeling slightly enthusiastically pessimistic. Yea, Yea, I know. This is an oxymoron. How can one be both enthusiastic and pessimistic. Well.....I don't know, I guess. But that's how I feel. Perhaps my rambling may shed some light into this odd combination of feelings, perhaps not.

Excited for New Things:
There have been so many new things in my life lately that have made me feel more and more enthusiastic about my life and the direction I appear to be headed. I have had several exciting new opportunities arise, have met some amazing new people that play huge roles in my life, and look forward to moving forward with some important areas in my life. I feel as though I have renewed faith in myself and in my life more now than ever in the past ten months.

I have always tried lived life vibrantly. Some people have called me eclectic. Few have called me artsy. Some have described me as stubborn. And yet others have described me as "different" or "strange". All of these are okay with me, I guess. I want to be me and not just another one of the millions of other people in this world. However, it appeared, for a short while, that things would never get better. I would be stuck in a world without color - shades of gray and black. A world unlike anything I have ever seen before. A world where enthusiasm did not exist. A world where I just wanted to blend into the wall and not be seen. Then, I met someone not knowing how important this person would be in finding the color in my life again. Helping me be that strange, eclectic, artsy lady. It was the start of the enthusiasm. Just recently, I was offered an amazing opportunity that I feel will enable me to grow tremendously as a person, and have never been more excited in my life. Each day that I have experienced this opportunity, I feel happier and happier. More enthusiastically enthusiastic.

Now Where Is This Darn Pessimism Coming From?
As I just mentioned above there are several very good reasons to feel enthusiastic about my future -- to feel as though there are great things coming, but I cannot shake this feeling of pessimism and frustration. I'm very glad to have met such great people in the past several months, because there are so many not so great people out there. This has always been the case. It's nothing new, but now that there is so much positive energy starting to come my way, these negative people are frustrating me.

I've always done things to the best of my ability and tried as hard as I could. These people don't make me want to keep trying so hard. It makes me feel like things will never be completely perfect, so what's the use of trying so hard? This frustrates me. I want to get these people out of my life and focus on this enthusiasm, focus on the positives, and keep life going in the right direction. I've never really fully understood how so many people can live their lives in such a negative manner. I mean, come on people. Just smile and laugh. It helps. I promise. Don't take things so seriously all the time. Sarcasm is a good friend. LIVE.

So, How Do I Get Rid of The Negativity?
This is a great questions, and I am open to suggestions....anyone? Anyone? I've decided it's impossible. There are always going to be those people out there that no matter how hard you try, they are going to be negative. So, if I can't remove these people from my life, I'm going to put on my rose colored glasses and try to see the best in people and try and reduce the impact these people have on my life. Just because they don't want to laugh and have fun doesn't mean I can't laugh and have fun. Just because they want to see the world in black and white, doesn't mean I have to -- I can see all the color I want. I can live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment I want to enjoy.

So, I guess at this point, I will remain enthusiastically pessimistic, but more enthusiastic. Life is too short to be so gosh darn negative about everything.